Sharing is an essential social skill, but for many young children, the idea of giving up their toys or taking turns can feel impossible. If your child resists sharing, you’re not alone—this is a common phase of early childhood development. While it can be frustrating for parents, understanding why children struggle with sharing and how to gently teach them this skill can make a big difference.
In environments where kids interact with others, such as Day Care Oakleigh East, opportunities for sharing happen daily. However, learning to share is a process that takes time, patience, and guidance. By recognizing what makes sharing difficult for your child and using the right strategies, you can help them develop generosity and cooperation in a way that feels natural and rewarding.
Why Do Children Struggle with Sharing?
Before jumping into solutions, it’s important to understand why sharing can be so difficult for young children.
1. They Don’t Fully Understand Ownership Yet
Toddlers and preschoolers are still learning what it means to own something. To them, their toys, books, or favorite stuffed animals are not just objects—they are extensions of themselves. The idea of handing over something they love can feel like losing a part of themselves.
2. They’re Focused on Their Own Needs
Young children are naturally egocentric, meaning they see the world primarily from their own perspective. When they want to play with a toy, their focus is on their immediate desire, not on how someone else might feel.
3. They’re Learning Emotional Regulation
Sharing requires patience, self-control, and the ability to handle disappointment—skills that are still developing in young children. If they feel frustrated or upset when asked to share, it’s often because they don’t yet know how to manage those emotions.
How to Help Your Child Learn to Share
While sharing doesn’t always come naturally, there are ways to encourage and model this behavior so it becomes a positive experience rather than a forced rule.
1. Model Generosity in Everyday Life
Children learn by watching their parents and caregivers. Show your child what sharing looks like in your daily interactions. Offer them a bite of your snack, take turns playing a game together, or share a blanket while reading. When they see generosity modeled consistently, they are more likely to mimic it.
2. Use Play to Teach Sharing
Make sharing part of playtime by introducing games that require turn-taking, such as puzzles, board games, or rolling a ball back and forth. These activities help children practice patience and cooperation in a fun and low-pressure way.
3. Acknowledge Their Feelings
If your child is upset about sharing, validate their emotions rather than dismissing them. Saying, “I know it’s hard to share your favorite toy, but your friend would love a turn too,” helps them feel heard while reinforcing the importance of kindness.
4. Start with Less-Important Items
If your child is attached to certain toys, avoid making those the focus of sharing lessons. Instead, encourage them to share less-valued items first, such as extra coloring books, building blocks, or outdoor toys. As they get more comfortable, they may be more willing to share their favorite belongings.
5. Praise Positive Sharing Moments
When you see your child sharing—whether spontaneously or after encouragement—recognize their effort. Saying, “That was really kind of you to let your friend have a turn,” reinforces the behavior and makes them feel proud of their generosity.
6. Give Them Some Control
Instead of forcing sharing, allow your child to have some say in the process. For example, you can say, “Would you like to share your stuffed animal now, or in a few minutes?” Giving them a choice helps them feel in control while still promoting the habit of sharing.
7. Use Books and Stories to Reinforce Sharing
There are many great children’s books that teach the importance of sharing in a relatable way. Reading stories where characters learn to share can help your child see the benefits of cooperation in a way that feels natural and fun.
Helping your child learn to share is a journey, but with patience, modeling, and encouragement, they can develop this important social skill over time. As they grow, their ability to share will improve, making interactions with friends and family more enjoyable and cooperative.